poco a poco

WELL. i made an incredibly difficult, exciting, terrifying, awesome decision this fall to quit my (really good, sigh!) engineering job and stay home with silence for the next few years. i never thought i'd be a stay at home mom. like, never ever. my parents both worked full time, i respected them so much for doing that for our family. i assumed i'd want to do the same. and i do. but i also found myself feeling stretched so thin with my job... wanting to give it more of my time, but more urgently (more importantly) needing to be home to see my daughter for the 1-2h a day we were both awake in the house together. over the months it really drained me and broke my heart to be separated from her all day every day. at my job, i was disappointed in myself for not working as hard as i knew i could if the timing had been different. so my husband and i crunched some numbers and decided to go for it. my beloved coworkers threw me the most amazing farewell gathering and i stayed out waaay past my bedtime drunkenly, lovingly soaking in every minute they were willing to spend with me at that silly sports bar close to the office. if you are one of those people and have found yourself reading this...hi! i like you way too much! i miss you every day!

anyway. it's not like i can magically replace the 10+h a day i used to devote to manufacturing LED's with making art, because, hello... babies need attention! but! silence, like many babies, takes naps! and when she naps, i can art. i've been hard at work painting for NSS! i've already paid my deposit for a booth and everything...it's happening. i'm so excited to do this again, but with a little more experience and focus this time. and with less stress and anxiety over taking time off from work to make it all happen. little by little.